The One Thing About Aegile

The one thing about Aegile….

We sit at the round marble dining table, the one you love, in the “Seremban House”, teasing you with that statement. And you would play along. “Yes, what is this one thing about me?” you’d ask with a grin on your face. And I’d reach out my hand and gently squeeze your arm, and we’d laugh together and leave that statement be, never with an answer…

The one thing about Aegile. Your stories. 

I remember fondly all the stories that you would share with us about your “younger days”. How you left for KL, worked as a petrol station attendant, a bartender, a waitress, a factory worker, a door-to-door salesperson and countless other jobs. 

“I did more than 20 jobs you know, Cam” I recall you telling me one evening as we sat at that round marble dining table counting them out.

“You name it, I’ve done it. I deeply felt that if I was not there with the workers, I would not understand their issues and problems, or how to organise them.”

Always with the people.

The one thing about Aegile. Your humbleness.

We sit at that same table, having breakfast. You have your favourite cheese with apricots spread on your toast. You loved your cheese spreads.

“Cam, can I please ask a favour? Can please drive me to IJN for my appointment next week ah?” you ask sheepishly, as if it was going to be a huge burden for me! You were so humble with even the smallest of requests, despite how important it was to you.

The one thing about Aegile. Your “boyfriends”.

Sorry gents, if you were not Amitabh Bachan or Che Guevara, you never stood a chance.

The one thing about Aegile. Your selflessness.

As we sit side by side at the waiting area in IJN, I turn to you and see the look of worry in your eye. I reach across and hold your hand. 

How I will miss the feel of those warm, soft, gentle hands.

“Are you ok, Godma?” I ask.

You look up and smile nervously, trying to mask the worry on your face.

“I’m ok. You must be hungry, waiting for so long here with me. I belanja you after this ok”, you say, as if you owed me anything at all!

Always thinking about someone else, never yourself.

The one thing about Aegile. Your immense capacity for self-sacrifice.

The countless times when you would be exhausted, unwell or in pain, yet you would always somehow find the strength to answer that call about a rescue or attend a meeting or meet someone who needed you help or counsel or guidance.

Always selfless, ready to sacrifice for someone else.

I will never forget how despite the constant and intense pain you were in, you still found the strength to make the 5 hour trip back to Sg Petani to say a prayer for me at the Sg Batu chapel for my recovery when I was sick.

It kills me inside that I couldn’t do the same for you.

The one thing about Aegile. How the simplest of things gave you joy and satisfaction.

We sit at the round marble dining table having lunch. You’re in pain, I can see it. I want to ask you what is causing you pain this time, but I don’t want to interrupt you. You have your crabs in front of you – oh how you LOVED your crabs! Nothing could take you away from them. You catch me staring at you and look up with your beautiful smile.

Your smile. So beautiful, capable of lighting up the darkest of moments. It breaks me inside thinking about how much I will miss your smile.

“Are you happy?”, I ask.

“I’m satisfied”, you reply with a smile, as you always do. 

The one thing about Aegile. Your selfless, abundant love. 

My dearest Godma, there is so much more I want to say about you. About how you were a beacon of light, a warm glow of comfort, a warrior of justice for migrants, refugees, workers, the poor, survivors of trafficking, all who are marginalized and made vulnerable by unjust systems, and for all communities that you worked for and with. 

There are so many stories to be told about your unwavering courage and determination in your mission for love, peace and justice for all.

Your words say it best.

“I will not stop until I am in the coffin or in the ground…as long as I have a body that can work, I will continue. There is no such thing as retiring. There is still so much to do. So much to teach the young people to take over.”

And you did. Angel of Justice. Friend to All. Heart of Light.

I wish you knew how immensely proud I am of you and how blessed I am to have you as my Godmother.

So my beautiful, gentle, loving Godma, what is this one thing about you? 

As I sit here trying to answer this question, my heart deeply aching that I am unable to be there to say goodbye to you, here’s my answer.

There is no “one thing” about Aegile. You were……no, you are, everything that is beautiful, everything that is loving, everything that is selfless, everything that is courageous. 

But the one thing about Aegile that each and every one of us will have is that your enduring warmth, selfless love, bold courage – everything that is you – will be in our hearts forever. 

Because there cannot be an end to someone so eternal.

I love you always Godma. Till we meet again.